My first big lack of confidence in a long time...
I really feel like shit after completely sucking in tennis today. To think of it, I'm not really good in anything.. I mean, I can't think of anything I'm particularly good at. I don't really feel talented. To make it worse I hang around Nafis, who is bored to tears if he's not competeing and makes learning very frustrating. I really felt like I should compete with him because I want to be more than just good for having a cute butt and making out with. Right now I'm failing badly.
Maybe I don't want to be involved in this. I really feel like as a woman all I am is a sex object. I really feel unequal, even though all my friends are guys... I just feel like an object. I dont feel like a person anymore.
Currently Listening to: Bob Marley
Yesterday I had a meeting with my Arabic teacher, Driss. He's going to put me up to independent study Arabic, which means I'm going to do more work outside class to learn more. It sounds really cool.. This was promted by my excellent midterm grade. I'm really happy about this. ^^
I've been thinking alot about the guys I used to play with. I miss them, but I probably wont be doing any video games until winterbreak... well.. probably not even then if Mishal (Zel) comes to visit. I wish people kept a little more contact. But even more, I wish the ones that I do talk to wouldn't talk about the game so much (Hell, when Mishal and I talk.. I didn't even know he was still playing sometimes). I didn't play the game for the game, just for the friends that I made. But right now I really have more important things.. . I can't play a game because it is a waste of my time.. it's not like high school anymore where I have nothing to do but to waste my time and wait for something better. I'm really happy here, but sometimes it gets lonely.. even with all my new friends who are wonderful.
I'm thinking about looking at an internship in a humanitarian organization.. though I probably woudln't be able to be accepted for the summer. I would really like to do work in a poor country abroad.. I must be a sick person, heh. I'm going to need to choose between international studies, sociology and botany sooner or later. damn.
I didn't think it was possible..
but since I've been listening to a lot of Abandoned Pools lately..
I really miss Key.
Hooka
Some pictures from the Hooka bar...
Picture Extravaganza (2)
A few pictures outside the campus center back when then weather was nice and not crap...
Picture Extravaganza
Since I've been at college...
18 BirthdayCelebrated in the first floor study room with my roomates and my friends. It was modest, but nice. ^^
Arabic of my Dreams
Damn, I am cramming this vocab in and it hurts
paper- waraka
radio- musajjala
newspaper- jaryda
sunglasses- darraaja
.. and the list goes on for a long, long time.
kosso ommak
Sporadic updating
I have a lot of pictures uploaded to photobucket that I need to post.. but i've been too lazy to post them. Also I'm too lazy to hook my computer back up or put my clothes away in my closet. I need to study for my Arabic midterm tomorrow. I need to sleep.
wooot.
