Pufferfish@

Busy, Busy

Been too busy to post, though I get to think about a lot.
Right now I am too brain-fried from trying to absorb the 300 pages of information I tried to cram before my Human Ecology midterm tomorrow. So stupid, why am I not on top of anything this semester?
Somehow I read and I read and I read and I learn things- I learn a lot of things
But I feel like I'm reading the same things over and over and over again. If I could take a break for a bit to collect my spinning head I could write some pretty damn good synthesis. But no.

Krygier hinted that maybe it is time for me to sit on, think about, apply or otherwise put to use whatever themes I keep seeing. Sounds to me like an independent study is in order soon, but I don't know what I should do. I've never been good at coming up with project ideas. I dabble in too many things to really get deeply involved in any one of them, I feel. And I have so many things to learn about before I want to settle into one thing.
I would like to take more botany, take geology, pick Arabic and French up again and maybe a new language. I also want to learn to play an instrument, but I guess that's a hobby and not a study (for me, at least).

I know Wolverton saw me upset in the botany lounge last week. I'm sure everyone thought I was stressed about my midterm that was about to happen, but I had just found out-- 30 minutes before my exam-- that my great uncle was involved in an accident at the railyard. I can't say I liked being so upset in the middle of an area that is part of my serious academic life and being seen by my professors.
I took the news pretty hard because I'm still trying to cope with the passing of my great-grandmother on that side of the family. I didn't really expect to hear more bad news, especially involving her son (who has been antagonizing to everyone in the handling of everything since grandma's passing). Is that why this year is so hard?

posted by Natticus @ 12:42 AM 0 comments

again it started as a comment

"Do you ever feel like… unrooted.
When you think back to all the friends you used to have, or when you think to several years ago, and notice everything has changed. Everything. It was years ago, but it felt like it could have been yesterday. And you don’t know where people are or what you did with things or what happened between then and now.

Then your head is spinning and the people in front of you now are not the ones you saw yesterday. The place you are in is somewhere else. And you are reeling without a grip on anything, nothing has stayed constant and nothing ties you. Do you ever feel like you have sunk into nothing, or rather haven’t sunk into anything to root yourself.

Is this a life carried by the wind, without taking root. What is the rooted life, being secure and unchanging. What is it like to attach, to feel grounded and based in something.

Some writing might be a good start, or at least a trail.
I just wanted to talk to an old friend."

posted by Natticus @ 12:27 AM 1 comments