Pufferfish@

My Problem. Why does Alex pull this crap sometimes? I wonder if he's really snapped down to Earth at all. I have such an urge to just tonguelash him... But I need to learn some patience. I only feel so anxious because I care about him and I know he wont tell me until he thinks I'm "ready." That irks me to no end. That and I hate this problem... I'm not built to handle someone like Alex. He wants all his love given to him, while I'm not a person to do that most of the time. I need him to see it in the things that I do. It's all very pressuring. I don't want this kind of stuff to worry about right now... There's no possible way I can get a break and relax... Argh, this ruined last summer.

posted by Natticus @ 12:03 PM 0 comments

I smell entirely of oil lantern. My mouth tastes like oil lantern. I can't get the smell out of my nose no matter what I try. But, you know.. it's not too bad. I don't want to complain. I went on a tour that was 3 hours/ 3 miles with only lanterns. Pretty awesome, but quite a sense deprivation.. and a hike. Oh, yes, and this was inside the cave.
Right now i'm just chillin'... killin'. Waiting for the 12 am to come around. About to strip to get my smelly clothes off. I should do that. Yes.
I feel overly sedated.. I guess I could just be tired from a hard two days of driving paired with physical activity. Trace tells me of disturbing news. I wish I could call Chris and gossip some about it. Chris would have more to tell me about. I'm just a sucker for this kind of stuff. Goes to prove how um, not caught up I am in the crowd. Thank God. Now tomorrow some screaming social problem is going to surface and bite me in the ass just to show me i'm more caught up than what I'd lie and say. I've got some pretty f-ed up luck like that.

God!! DO I always sound like I'm stoned?

The thought that I have summer papers to write and summer books to read is stressing me out. Do they make summer work just so you can stress out about it and not enjoy your summer? Quit being such a worry wart. Yes, ma'am. Quit complaining, i'll beat you like a red-headed stepchild.
I like it when people call me ma'am. It's a sick, sweet and sadistic guilty pleasure. Or maybe that's when they call me lady. I haven't been referred to as a female human being in quite a while. No, I yelled at Chris the other day to open a car door or something for me and he said "Yes Ma'am" or something. Probably. That sounds about right, it doesn't matter how I remember it. I can't remember anything at all. Except summer homework. You bastards.

That's enough for now. Settle down until we write the diary entry for the day. Mm-hmm.

posted by Natticus @ 11:00 PM 0 comments

Tomorrow i'm leaving for Kentucky to tour Mammoth Caves. Yeah, sounds fun. Not sarcastic. Seriously. It kind of peeves me a bit that I'm going to be gone on Friday, when Alex is going to call. But it only peeves me because he doesn't know that i'm leaving. This advancement was made just a few days ago. So, i'm a bit "meh" because I don't want him to get worried over me and maybe overreact or miss me-- or anything that might ruin his fun. Maybe perhaps i'm just being a bit paranoid myself, too. But at least I can say I was worried about it and not feel like.. well, I wasn't. Because then I might feel like crap for not being.. considerate? Whatever kind of word *that* is.
I think Mammoth Caves is in Kentucky. Wouldn't I look like a big giant ass if it wasn't? ha.. ha.. mmmm..

Mm.. Computer, I don't want to leave you! Because then that means I'm going to have to leeeaaavveee! Compie only understands Nattle! Waaugh!
Going somewhere always leaves me feeling empty inside. Maybe that's for the better, it's less for my family to corrupt and destroy while we have to spend time together in close quarters. *TEENAGE CLICHE! AUGH >< *

And, other than that... mm.. I wrote a very comforting and wrist-working entry in my real-life diary. Where all my more deeper, darker secrets go. this is only intermediate! It was only comforting because I managed to somehow talk myself down from a rather gut-wrenching depressing mood. Hoo-ray for me. And sarcasm?

Alright, too tired. Screw it all! I'm going to bed. Can you leave comments on this thing? If not, i'll have to find one where you can. If you couldn't... What would be the point? Baugh. Go to bed.

posted by Natticus @ 10:34 PM 0 comments

Alright. this is awkward. I have a blog. And no clue what to do with it. Damn, I am awesome!

posted by Natticus @ 7:37 PM 0 comments