Pufferfish@

Anxiety

Haven't blogged in a long time.. haven't checked any.

I'm having alot of anxiety problems lately. But I'm too busy to take care of it. I've had exams and homework and papers and all sorts of shit. I had some good times in there too, though.. like Mishal and I's anniversary on Thursday.

But several times a week I'm having dreams with anger. I think all my anxiety is being culminated and expressed in enmity for Nafis. I have dreams yelling at him, screaming at him, embarassing him, backhanding him. He is a source of much of my anxiety, but certainly not all of it.

Now the frequent occurance of these dreams is giving me a source of anxiety.

When Mishal disappears for several days and I have a note about family problems, that gives me a huge source of inquiet.

I've been reverting back to the practice of daily putting in the headphones and pacing for nearly an hour to music so loud I can't hear myself think. Or making my ears ring before I go to bed. I should draw, or start blogging. If only I could sit down.

posted by Natticus @ 1:31 AM